Certificates of 2012 Insurance
Certificates are only $10! Order Below!
Show off your insight into the armageddon slated for December 21st, 2012 with an official Certificate of Insurance from the 2012 Apocalypse Insurance Company! Each certificate is full color, uniquely numbered and personalized to an individual. The certificates are custom printed on card-stock, uniquely numbered and are diploma-quality. They are 8.5 x 11" and suitable for framing.
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Moreover, each certificate issues comes in it's very own "2012: You're Insured" folder and with a copy of the 2012 Apocalypse Insurance Policy. The policy is a tri-fold document which explains which losses are covered when they are a direct result of the December 21, 2012 Armageddon!
Order Your Certificate and Policy Now For Only $10!**
To order, simply enter the Name of the Insured, as you would like to see it printed on the Certificate of Insurance. Please make sure you spell and capitalize correctly! The Certificate will be printed EXACTLY as it is listed here (including capitalization)*. We're sorry, but at this time we support 25 characters, maximum.
What is Covered?
Covered losses include losses of life or property during Apocalyptic Events! Here is a list of events covered within our policies:
- A Galactic Wave Striking the Planet Earth
- Any Geomagnetic Reversal (or Shift in the Earth’s Magnetic Poles)
- Any Major Biblical Event (i.e. the Appearance of the Four Horsemen, the Breaking of the Seventh Seal, a Rapture, etcetera)
- Any Nuclear Attack, provided the first launch is commenced on December 21st, 2012
- Any Major Act of God (including 40 Day Rains, Fire Raining from the Sky, an Earthquake of Magnitude 10.5 or Greater, the Eruption of a Super Volcano, Cities Transforming into Pillars of Salt, etc)
- A Comet, Asteroid or Extinction-Level-Event Meteor Striking the Earth
- The Earth’s Accidental Collision with any other Planet (including Nibiru, Marduk and Planet X)
- Any Extra-solar Planetary Body (Nibiru / Marduk / Planet X) entering Earth’s Solar System and Causing Chaos
- Any Unforeseen Armageddon Directly Attributable to the Galactic Alignment
- Any Unforeseen Catastrophic Event Directly Attributable to the Earth’s Traversal into the Galactic Plane
- Any Worldwide Breakout of Attacks by any Dead Beings (Human or Animal) which has Risen from the Grave (Undead)
- Any Global Attack or Mass Abduction by Space Aliens
- Any Attack by a Robot Army which has Achieved Artificial Intelligence
- Any Total Destruction of Earth Caused by the Large Hadron Collider
- A Zombie Virus being released upon Humanity or any other Global Zombie Outbreak
- The 2012 Election of any Space Alien, Monster or other Supernatural or Mythical Being to the Presidency of The United States of America
- Any Event which causes a 90% or Greater Drop in the Human Population of Earth, provided all losses occur on December 21st, 2012
...provided these events occur on December 21st, 2012!
Unfortunately, there are some silly people out there, and so the following are specifically EXCLUDED from coverage under our policies:
- Any Loss that Occurs BEFORE or AFTER December 21st, 2012
- Any Loss due to Minor Act of God (Hurricane, Tsunami, Rains Lasting LESS than 40 CONSECUTIVE Days, plague, pestilence, etcetera)
- Losses due to any event NOT predicted by Nostradamus, the Mayan Calendar, the I-Ching, a Tarot Deck, Bones which have been randomly strewn about, or The Bible)
- Loss of Life or Property due to Mobs of Gun Wielding Morons who THINK the World is Ending, when it actually isn't.
- Debts incurred due to Hospitalization (if the Hospitals are still running, it’s NOT Armageddon)
- Any Losses related to the U.S. Presidential Election of 2012 if ANY Human is Elected
- Losses related to the 2012 Election of any NON-Space Alien (naturalized, illegal or otherwise) to any position in any local, state or federal government
- Losses related to Cats and Dogs living together
Save Some $!
But wait! Want to save five or ten dollars? Or even get a "FREE" Certificate of Insurance? Visit our bundles page and SAVE NOW! We even have a bundle which saves $10, essentially giving you a "FREE" Certificate of Insurance and allowing you to say "2012: I'm Insured, ARE YOU?" with style!; Check out our bundles now!
Please note: Our Insurance Policies and Certificates of Insurance are for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. We offer a NOVELTY product, which does NOT provide any actual insurance coverage. (This friendly message was, of course, included by our lawyers!)
Get Insured Today For Only $10!**
To order, simply enter the Name of the Insured, as you would like to see it printed on the Certificate of Insurance. Please make sure you spell and capitalize correctly! The Certificate will be printed EXACTLY as it is listed here (including capitalization)*. We're sorry, but at this time we support 25 characters, maximum.
*Sobe Nights, LLC cannot be held responsible for typos, incorrect color/size selections, etcetera. Please double check your spelling, as the certificate will be printed EXACTLY as ordered. Thank You!
**Customer is responsible for Taxes (Nevada Only) and Shipping. Shipping and Taxes will be calculated at check-out.
If you have questions please contact us via email at questions@sobenights.com.